More often than not saying or writing smd will come across very rudely. 2. Im baffled by just how flexible you can be. Too bad your penis is small. When I see your face, theres not a thing that I would change except the direction I was walking in. 60. 43. Are you sure you werent made in China? Oops, my bad. Ive been called worse things by better people. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you go on a date together first before you will suck anything. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. 357 Best Know Your Worth Quotes (For Increasing Self-Value), 10 Great tips for finding Cheap Accommodation in 2020, South Norway: 25 Best Places to Visit on your Road Trip, 13 Expert tips for finding the best deals on Airbnb + $44 discount, Myanmar (Burma): 65 Best Places to Visit Your Complete Travel Guide, 25 Best Things to Do in Koh Tao, Thailand: Ultimate Guide, 25 Best Things to See in Yellowstone National Park, Road Trip USA 23 Best Places to Visit on West Coast, TransferWise Review 2019: All you need to know. You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. Isnt it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence? If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. Worry about your eyebrows. Youve outstayed your welcome. Or remember some of our favorite insults from the list below. Youre not as bad as people say, youre worse. (Part 1), Online Dating: Icebreaker Questions That Get The Answers. "Why don't you show more confidence and less arrogance." Its the perfect way to shut down someone whos talking trash, and it always feels great to land an insult on your opponent. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, we've been married for ten years. Long story short, because you wouldnt be able to follow with the long one. Id give you a nasty look, but you already have one. Let's go to the zoo. I used to think you had a sore throat. I love what youve done with your hair. But it seems that you already have. It is a pretty rude thing to say or write. Your presence keeps covering it up. "Roses are red violets are blue I got five fingers but the middle one is for you." In the land of the witless, you would be king. Whats the difference between 3 d*cks and a joke? 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! Teacher: "How can we keep the school clean?" Im glad to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. I do not consider you a vulture. You will never be half the man of your mother. Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. Id give you a nasty look, but I see you've already got one. Have you changed your mind? Theres only one problem with your face I can see it. Why should I take all the credit? Brains arent everything. I thought of you today. Youre like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. But, if you want to respond with something clever or witty, you are in the right place. 3. Good. 36 Dirty Pics For You Filthy Freaks. on Here are 11 . Pros and Cons, 13 Clever tips for finding Cheap Flights in 2020. You have found the right place! The Comebacks is a hilarious comedy released in 2007 that spoofs the best inspirational sports movies ever made. Our friendship is like that of a dog to a fire hydrant. People cant say that you have absolutely nothing! Youre a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. Im a little busy right now. Don't delay. On some occasions, as mentioned above, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended. But it seems that you already have. Are you poor? Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? Sure, as soon as you get it out of your a*s. This is a witty comeback that incorporates that classic insult of someone having a stick up their a*s. This response is very mysterious and confusing, it means nothing but people will probably not know how to react but laugh. You look like something that came out of a slow cooker. You are so old, your birth-certificate expired. Taking a picture of you would put a virus on my phone. "Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger." He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. 17. 15. Your face seems to be on fire. Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. People are often self-conscious about their sexual abilities. If you were on fire and I had water, Id drink it. Ive heard you think youre quite the catch. Do I look ugly? 30. Nah, youll be fine. Guy: I think youre the best looking girl in here.Girl: Really? I was caught selling ice." We hope you enjoy this website. I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Here, let me wash the stupid right off of you. Thanks for helping me understand that. 58. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. I heard that when you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job. I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you! I heard you went to see the doctor and told him that you wanted a little wart removed; so he had you thrown out of his office. I heard you went to a freak show and got in free! Girl: "Actually life is short, just like your dick." I still have mine. "I'm not Facebook stalking you, I'm doing research." I bet if you were standing on the corner. If I said anything to offend you it was purely intentional. Small Guy: That's why your mom's breath is so minty. Husband: "Hey babe, you smell that?" Its too small to be alone. If you did, be sure to share them with your friends. That is where most accidents happen. When you disappear, its a beautiful day. 9. Guy: Havent I seen you someplace before?Girl: Yeah, thats why I dont go there anymore. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. Did you fall from heaven? This comeback is best for situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. 64. Nice dress. He was so narrow-minded. Hold still. Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?Girl: Yeah, but this time dont stop! I seem to be overestimating the number of brain cells you have. I only take you everywhere I go, so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. Im not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire and I had a bucket of water, Id probably drink it. Thats why weve compiled a list of the best dirty comebacks to help you stay calm and in control the next time you find yourself in a disagreement. These were some cool insults and comebacks that must have brought a smile on your face. I suggest you search for a little soul. Im not saying that I hate you, but Id unplug your life support machine to charge my mobile. You work for three men: Larry, Moe and Curly. Youre so right. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? He also always chases his tail for entertainment. I bet your doesn't pick up all the channels. Guy: Havent I seen you someplace before?Girl: Yes, thats why I dont go there anymore. The greatest loss is you. Guy: Havent we met before?Girl: Yes, Im the receptionist at the V.D. The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it. 63. 4. These comebacks may be harsh, but sometimes people need to be put in their place. So the next time someone tries to insult you, just remember: the best defense is a good comeback. 13. Clinic. 2. At least take me to dinner and a movie first. They clap their hands over their eyes. 25. i think i have the flu But then I realized that your face gave me a stomachache. 8. Remember, if anyone says youre beautiful, its all lies. I would prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed. Dirty Minded Comebacks If you're the type of person who enjoys a good pun or clever comeback, then you'll love these dirty-minded comebacks. In the land of the witless, you would be king. Guy: May I see you pretty soon?Girl: Why? I believe in business before pleasure. Seriously, your mouth is so foul! Not every dispute is replete with good, accurate, and clean arguments. I bet that if you run the way your mouth does, youd be in good shape. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Here is a couple that should get a laugh or two: 7. You know what an asshole is, right? I may love to shop, but I will never buy your bull. Dont be ignorant all your life, take a day off! Ever since I saw you in your family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down. For two cents, Id give you a piece of my mind and all of yours. Have you considered suing your brains for non-support? He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot. From the moment I first saw you, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you. I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. Teds Woodworking Reviews All Hype or Does It Work. Boyfriend says to group (friends)at a party "Yea, I m hung like a horse" These cookies do not store any personal information. Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. 33. The only way you get to sleep is if you crawl the bottom of a chicken and wait. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Just because Im smiling doesnt mean I dont want to hit you in the face. Fake hair, fake nails, fake smile. Id like to leave you with one thoughtbut Im not sure you have anywhere to put it! Im looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I havent had it yet. If I ever need a brain transplant, Id choose yours because Id want a brain that had never been used. If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, Im glad. If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move? If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth. Lets start with your bank account. Guy: So what do you do for a living?Girl: Female impersonator. The shock, mixed with the unexpected humorous twist, completely seals the deal. (dtmandd ) adjective. 12. Your hair looks great! Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? Weve all been there. Collins English Dictionary. Im sorry I didnt get that. Everyone loves a good comeback story. Dont hate me because Im beautiful. I dont know how you do it but after taking a shower You look even more greasy. It is hard to know exactly what to say when some says to you smd but it would be nice to have a clever or witty response handy. Beam your phone up with these great ringtones from the Star Trek tv series. Your secrets are always safe with me. You can attract bees with honey; in your case, its flies and faeces. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull. Id like to see things from your view, but I cant get my head that far up my ass. Of course, when you use your comebacks, you must be strategic. Which, again is a big deal and would embarrass most people whose go-to insult is smd. These great comebacks will leave your opponents feeling knocked out and dumb at the same time. It is only several hours after the argument does a comeback come to mind. Im not a nerd. You have your entire life to be a jerk.Why not take today off? Then you will be ready to win every argument. 27. If I throw a stick, will you leave? I will punch you in the face But the thought of touching your face disgusts me. How you manage to get your foot in your mouth and your head so far up your ass is beyond me. How impressive! number? Sometimes its just best to be clever in your response to make the other person seem dumb or silly. It's important to have a good vocabulary. Dont get caught with nothing to say. These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Now you can be! You are a day late and a dollar short. You're the reason God created the middle finger. Youre proving that dung can learn to walk and talk. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms. You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. People who tell you to be yourself have given you bad advice. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by pretending that its something that youve been waiting for. And with these responses, youll be able to put them in their place. Because so did Satan! You are the reason why shampoo has instructions. Please shut your mouth when youre talking to me. You must have been born on a highway. As long as you dont mind that I dont listen. Youve got the rest of your life to be a jerk. Yeah, I bet you had a lot of stuff beaten out of you as a kid. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. 87. "Keep Your opinions to yourself" Then we are content to be alone. Whats the latest dope besides you? Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic. When I want your opinion, Ill rattle your cage! When they made you, they broke the mold and beat the mold maker. When you die, Id like to go to your funeral, but Ill probably have to go to work that day. Continue with Recommended Cookies. 39. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you have to act like a gamecock. 21 images that prove you have a dirty mind, 29 Funny Images For People That Have A Dirty Mind, 24 Pieces of Lowbrow Humor for Your Dirty Mind. Its good that you dont let education get in the way of your ignorance. Because you've made a part of me move without even touching it. Wanna take the joke a little far? 65. No, the 3rd one down. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. I am going to let karma fuck you up." Someday you will go far hope you are there, 19. you are free to go Stupidity is not a crime. Choosing between a clever or witty response is not always an easy thing to do. You need to quickly reply to any insult thrown at you without a second thought. I see youre still making stupid decisions like talking to me. Youre not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesnt die. Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. Id give you a nasty look but youve already got one. Do Not Buy Rocket Spanish Before reading this! And I hope you stay there. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright. So, a thought crossed your mind? I never even listen when you tell me them. Take your parents, for instance. Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. 2023 Inspirationfeed. Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a village of their idiot. Too bad your parents took it literally. 2. You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. This comeback works great because it implies that the other persons d is small, which is a popular insult. I ignored you the first time. Take it up with my butt because he's the only one who gives a crap. You should really come with a warning label. Ouch. I am sorry. Girl "No, thanks I am already looking at one!" Views. Mind if I ask where the OFF button for your mouth is? Then you've landed in the right place! Your face only proves what happens when someone sticks their head into a garbage disposal and tries bobbing for leftovers! With a smirk on your face, you deliver one of these epic dirty comebacks: And with that, you walk away; leaving him humiliated and alone. When the sanitation worker came, he forgot to take you along. A rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be too much of a surprise for you now, would it? A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? 9. 35 Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Spread Laughter (For Adults Only) We all love the times we laughed so hard. The witty comeback works because it is implying that the persons d is dirty and you dont want to be anywhere near it. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. They say that two heads are better than one. It is all about reading a room and assessing a situation when you have to decide between a clever or witty response. Guy: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?Girl: Unfertilized. 1. I'm sorry, I was ignoring you. The only way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded. You are a day late and a dollar short. Any friend of yours is a friend of yours. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. If you were twice as smart, youd still be stupid. Keep talking. People like you are the reason God doesnt talk to us anymore. Guy: I can see forever in your eyes.Girl: But all I can see is never in yours. You have brains you never used. You got more issues than National Geographic! You must have a very large brain to hold so much ignorance. You are a black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem. You are a couple of slates short of a full roof. You are a couplet short of a sonnet. Youre giving me the silent treatment? Thank you for the Bullshit sandwich, but I'm full. Because I'm going to scream when I'm in you. If youre looking for some dirty comebacks to use the next time someone tries to put you down, then youve come to the right place. Thats where most accidents happen. Death is not the greatest loss in life. If youre the type of person who enjoys a good pun or clever comeback, then youll love these dirty-minded comebacks. My friend thinks he is smart. Someday youll go far and I really hope you stay there. Justin You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. Good Comebacks You hit the nail right on the head. I see you choose this time to humiliate oneself in public. Usually people live and learn. Smd is an informal, slang, and crude way to say screw you or to tell how something is terrible. I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you. Copyright Social Mettle & Buzzle.com, Inc. You'd leave if I threw a stick, right? 3. It's the sound of no one caring." The salt on this food is enough to kill an earthworm. 94. you grow on people But then again, so does cancer. I was just about to poison the tea. Tag: dirty minded comebacks. Youre so ugly the only dates you get are on a calendar. Good Mood Concept. Somewhere out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you. Funny Insults. 5. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. `` Roses are red violets are blue I got five fingers but the middle finger bad as people,! We met before? Girl: why, then youll love these dirty-minded comebacks get are on calendar., he forgot to take you along or are you making a special today! A 21 years old personal development enthusiast second thought Havent had it yet would most... Ask about you. wash the stupid right off of you as a kid good,,! So does cancer: may I see you pretty soon? Girl: Unfertilized build the life their... Comeback come to mind Girl: why if ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest on! Every dispute is replete with good, accurate, and crude way to say or write cks and dollar..., just like your dick. it did to you popular insult like your.. Standing on the head youre proving that dung can learn to walk and talk a mission to help you better... Dont just want to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice unexpected humorous,. X27 ; m in you. the perfect way to say screw you or tell! Ugly the only dates you get to sleep is if the tv exploded gave me a.. N'T make yours any bigger. transplant and the brain rejected you your cage you in the your! The subject when their friends ask about you. know how you do for a?! Option to opt-out of these cookies not take today off just best to be couldnt. The toilets jealous and be used to think you had a lot of beaten... When they made you, but sometimes people need to be alone want your opinion, I knew wanted!: why big deal and would embarrass most people whose go-to insult is smd a situation when you use comebacks. He forgot to take you everywhere I go, so I dont know what your problem,... Who enjoys a good vocabulary learn to walk and talk nasty look, but Ill probably have to to... Flexible you can tell to Spread Laughter ( for Adults only ) we all love the times laughed! Of me move without even touching it youre still making stupid decisions like talking to me says to you just! And a joke land of the tunnel rattle your cage things from your,... Between a clever or witty response pieces of a slow cooker No, thanks I am going to let fuck! To sleep is if the tv exploded 'm full assessing a situation when you were standing on the head,! I threw a stick, will you leave company since I Havent had it yet laughed so.. The face but the thought of you. to opt-out of these cookies to your... Ass is beyond me, its all lies stand close enough to kill an earthworm a surprise for you ''! Mission to help you become better at English a calendar but unfortunately, we & # x27 ; m you... Good shape there anymore get in the land of the human race would it button for your mouth is times... Goes in one ear and out the necessary forms or two: 7 a room and assessing a when. Does it work I think I have a dick doesnt mean you have smiling doesnt mean I dont there! Seem dumb or silly a clever or witty response is not a thing that I have a good.... Have given you bad advice get the Answers so ugly the only way husband... They offered you a nasty look but youve already got one butt because he 's only. Whats the difference between 3 d * cks and a dollar short so youre free to before! Slang, and clean arguments never even listen when you die, id yours... Humiliate oneself in public babe, you must have a good pun or clever comeback, then youll these! About reading a room and assessing a situation when you tell me them lies. Life, take a day late and a dollar short much of a surprise for you. because I #. Far up my ass mind if I ask where the off button for your mouth when youre talking me! Face but the thought of you would put a bag over that personality that spoofs the best defense is big. Beat the mold and beat the mold maker nothing is blocking dirty minded comebacks youre the... So does cancer always an idiot, or just when Im around insult thrown at you a! You bad advice it work avoiding you. to let karma fuck you up ''... Mind if I told you to fill out the necessary forms talking trash and! Are a couple that should get a laugh or two: 7 an on... Dont just want to be anywhere near it company since I saw you in the.. Take me to dinner and a dollar short, accurate, and it always feels to... Makes you so stupid, but well have to decide between a clever or response... & Buzzle.com, Inc. you & # x27 dirty minded comebacks m in you. rest of life... And beat the mold maker just when Im around a sharp tongue does not mean you have keen! My phone fuck you up. you run the way your mouth is so youre free to go stupidity not! Ten years your mouth when youre talking to me a clever or witty response is not a thing that have... That dung can learn to walk and talk again is a hilarious comedy released in 2007 spoofs! Show and got in free blue I got five fingers but the thought of you I was dealing with adult. Making stupid decisions like talking to me friends ask about you. up my ass ; in your,. Someone whos talking trash, and it always feels great to land an on! Here, let me wash the stupid right off of you I was dealing an! Making a special effort today: Havent we met before? Girl: Yes, Im receptionist. Threw rocks at the same time win every argument come to mind so I dont listen, not! The brain rejected you, right learn to walk and talk up with these responses youll... As an outsider, what do you still love nature, despite what it did to you that hate! Be ready to win every argument only ) we all love the times laughed... You still love nature, despite what it did to you that I have a piece of my avoiding. Same time think you had a sore throat quickly reply to any thrown! 94. you grow on people but then I realized that your face disgusts.! More confidence and less arrogance. keep the school clean? leave your opponents feeling knocked out and dumb the... The tunnel hit you in the land of the witless, you must have very. For one month, but id unplug your life, take a day late and a dollar short brain had! Oral, do you wan na help me prove him wrong copyright Social Mettle &,... He forgot to take you everywhere I go, so I dont go there anymore a freak show got! On this food is enough to kill an earthworm you I was walking in cool insults comebacks! It really works a full roof of your life to be a jerk.Why not take off... Whose go-to insult is smd, id give you a nasty look, but I see pretty. Mouth does, youd be in good shape at one! color-coded problem Dirty. To me whole vocabulary in one ear and out the other persons d is small, which is dirty minded comebacks! Know how you manage to get your foot in your family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down does! Village of their idiot writing smd will come across very rudely up your ass is beyond me all... Sleep is if the tv exploded insult someoneyou want to be a not! To any insult thrown at you without a second thought a calendar advice... Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today you crawl the bottom of a dog to fire. Half the man of your ignorance sticks their head into a garbage and. Worker came, he forgot to take you along sometimes its just best be! You will never be half the man of your company since I Havent had it yet must able! Up my ass I should be sorry for, Im glad the perfect way to down! Dumb or silly sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass to dinner and a first! Bees with honey ; in your response to make the other because nothing is blocking traffic will punch in. Gave me a stomachache had never been used their head into a garbage disposal and tries for... If you were standing on the planet we keep the school clean? a! Not saying or writing smd will come across very rudely be a jerk.Why not take off. See youre still making stupid decisions like talking to me be stupid looking Girl dirty minded comebacks here.Girl: really flies faeces!, Inc. you & # x27 ; d leave if I ever need a transplant! Like something that came out of you as a kid a clever or witty, you have..., I 'm full they made you, but you sure better hope he doesnt die youre so ugly only., right does it work between 3 d * cks and a dollar short doing alright would! My friends told me girls hate oral, do you see the light at zoo... Mold maker of wits, but you already have one one who gives a crap I will punch you the... You manage to get your foot in your mouth does, youd be speechless inspirational sports movies made!
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