bpd relationship destroyed me

Was your ex extremely sensitive, reactive, angry, and lacked control over himself or herself during difficult times? That helps. Having a child with Borderline Personality Disorder can be extremely frightening. I have no intention of trying to win her back because she is married but feel that after I spent almost a year and a half trying to win her back that now I realize It is imperative to stay away and let her marriage heal. When they find that person, they almost immediately start using that person as their punching bag to repeatedly project their emotional struggles onto him or her. 4 years older than me but has never discredited my opinions or viewpoints due to my age. Thank you mate. You cant imagine how much I needed to hear this before. And yes they are very black or white people, which is why relationships with them can often feel extremely rewarding one moment and toxic the next I cant agree more. And theyll use it as ammo to blast your arms off. Jealousy, accusations, rage, violence, destroying my property. When their partner stirs up underlying feelings, their partner is blamed for how they feel, becoming all bad. But, before I got on my plane she called me crying which made me feel guilty. This is a personal blog by someone writing from personal feeling. Here are a few tips on what to do when a borderline personality disorder ends a relationship. Pushing Your Partner Away "I self-sabotage anything that is good or feels safe! For this reason, your experience of BPD might be wildly different from someone else's experience of BPD. They truly are hyper sensitive. I would also encourage her to get professional help, or if she's already got it take it more seriously. Why Did My Ex Unfriend Me But Not Block Me? I am not like this at all yeah I have fear of abandonment and get clingy but I dont cheat, manipulate or lie. I have chosen to keep quiet about my diagnosis due to articles and attitudes like this. Although medicine and therapy can help treat this particular disorder, people with mental health disorders shouldnt immediately resort to external solutions and hope for the best. I think this will help a lot of your readers identify if they dated someone with BPD, especially if they were broken up with and discarded suddenly when things seemed fine months beforehand. When you said that she called you pussy for not standing up for yourself I can totally relate, most guys I have been with have just accepted all the bad things I do and I hate it, I want them to get angry with me and tell me when I am being wrong even if I argue back I respect them more if they stand up for themselves so don't give into her when she begins to brag about all the people she has been with and tell her that you have female friends and they will remain your friends and she will just have to accept that, has she met your female friends? you say they listen to emotions rather than thought, but the thoughts (mostly intrusive) are as much a problem as emotions. It hurts a lot tbh, we dont have a self-inflated ego. Yeah she's toxic and all but they are too and made shit worse. Im in relationship limbo at the moment but I like to think the best of my BPD bf. It is 1000 times worse than being heartbroken in Continue Reading Jeremy Anderson Two relationships with pwBPD Author has 122 answers and 154.6K answer views 3 y I'll offer an analogy. She had already destroyed our entire family by this point, and she never even got the treatment! So please think about those who have these illnesses before posting these toxic articles. To them, relationships are battles of power. Thread starter Clarabellstar; Start date Oct 19, 2015; Tags classic depression realized relationships started C. Clarabellstar Well-known member. Everything it's calm already when the police come after a while. Very quickly she came back to work , and although I was also working full time for a corporation (another one at this time), must of the chores were on my back. Your IP: That sucks. It seems to me everything that meant a lot to me was fake and surreal. So to learn if your ex had a borderline personality disorder or certain BPD traits, try to remember what your ex was like when you were together. I washed him, I made food for him I bought his clothes. You need new friends anyway, yours sucked. I called a doctor, whom she said I beat her. I sincerely hope you are right. Performance & security by Cloudflare. While I understand that youre suffering and need to vent, my concern is that you are wasting your energy in public like this. Cloudflare Ray ID: 7a146d704ee2c21c This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. They do it because they have poor impulse control, because they lack understanding of themselves, and most importantly because they fear abandonment and losing authority (which they interpret as significance). Its not still over for me, I had a really powerful connection with him and it was my first real relationship as Im a very shy and introverted person, so what hurts a lot is that he left everything we had cruelly and abruptly. I'm really sorry for what it happened to you because you seem kind of a person like me, I totally know how you feel. That he is addicted to marijuana from the age of 14, how she found cocaine in their apartment. She was horrible during her pregnancy. I can not stress enough how valuable it is .I was similar in my behaviour to this girl in all my previous relationships but then I had a diagnosis , went to DBT therapy and specialised Counselling and have now been in an amazing , positive relationship for a year. If you live with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you're probably familiar with the nine classic symptoms of the disorder. No, there are no ways to fix your now failed marriage. Be prepared to walk on eggshells for life, and stay strong. Then I feel like shit for feeling good because someone suffered much worse than me. No need to warn the next person either. I just couldnt. And there is a 24h court that will assess your position. At least during the first year. Often, the feelings are disproportionate to the actual situation. Your email address will not be published. Especially because they fear and avoid abandonment, often have patterns of intense and unstable relationships, and tend . Now I want nothing to do with her. Often, the borderline who splits sees themselves as the victim, who is being mistreated. Ive told him I know hes upset with himself for things he said and did, but that Im not judging him and we can start over if/when hes ready. because you clearly have experience dating someone with these problems, but do not have a clear understanding of what bpd entails. If he or she cant, your ex can ask you directly for help, or better yet, get professional help. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way. I myself have followed you for several years, and you have been a great help in my own breakup. She sounds pretty evil. I would encourage you to still be there for her if you can but to really push therapy. Anyway, this article made more sense after half way through. One day we went out with friends, she got drunk, she physically assaulted me multiple times, and unfortunately a struggle between us two resulted in her falling to the ground. You shared that you met a man on online dating, hung out for two months last year, in May 2020, he reached out to you. Your girlfriend sounds a lot like me, in relationships I am a total bitch and most guys just can't handle me, you are in a tough situation. Now, I know how this all sounds. I feel for you. You have to pull away from your ex for your own good or you could see your ex behave in a very self-destructive, hurtful manner. Theres are some people who think they need to stand by their exs side and help their ex. Another thing with us bpds is we may hate someone for the smallest of things however we also love people as well when they do little things. 1 People with BPD may experience intense mood swings, abandonment issues, depression, impulsivity (i.e., impulsive borderline personality disorder ), and negative impacts in their relationships. I just think that the power games are ripe for exploitation. Leave your house early to go to work. Thus, a terrible setup for the inevitable breakup. For many of us, having a partner with mental health issues can be one of lifes most significant challenges. F: "I bet he is!" In extreme situations, these feelings become internalized and form the way that the person sees themselves and others. This cycle of love/hate seemed to happen at least once a month. One day we were drinking in my place and she went thru my phone after I passed out. And I did, because of my son. We can be there for them and support them as they put in the hard work to save themselves. Hey there, unfortunately these behaviours can be common in bpd ( except the stealing, that's not necessarily common.I don't know what triggered that).The thing is people with bpd can develop serious trust issues, become defensive and insecure and although she might usually be the nicest person in the world when these feelings are triggered she might turn and there is nothing like an abusive childhood to show you how to say nasty things.What I am saying is , this girl is probably a sweet girl but when she feels threatened she is likely to change.This type of relationship requires someone who is willing to support her and give reassurance but more than anything she probably needs help by a counsellor who specialises in bpd. It just won't have a normal, peaceful home. I know she won't make it, she is not able to create a healthy relationship nor work properly at work. BPD is not NPD do some research! I have read a lot of BPD horror stories, but this is bad. If a person at any point in time during a relationship gets depressed/diagnosed with a mental illness, that person obviously couldnt predict what was going to happen. 1. CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. It hard to let go of that feeling, unless they do something reckless to unleash the anger, causing the borderline splitting to sabotage relationships. Its estimated that 1 in 50 people have BPD, so that you could meet someone with BPD on your next flight. A person with a borderline personality disorder is very moody, emotion-driven, and can be very unpredictable at times. When our son was two, she asked me if I am going to marry her eventually. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition where people struggle with self-image and emotion regulation. This triggers the borderline to feel worse and the splitting becomes intensified or destructive. How I am currently the only person that keeps her sane. Before I get into those, let me say that a persons mental health should never be used as an excuse for anything theyve done. So, you write that those with mental illness are not worthy of love. So much so that they start arguments out of the blue and demand solutions. You can email the site owner to let them know you were blocked. Its quite the opposite. I still tried to be good to her, but she would start fights literally every single day we talked. This is how they slowly gain the upper hand in the relationship, reinvigorate themselves, and when they feel in control, lose respect and interest in their partner. But if you can extend empathy toward her, it will make healing much easier for both of you. She said my picture should be next to BPD. Ironic. I have been NC with her for about a month now. I packed my things, took my son and moved to my parents. In this way, the person that is splitting believes that their partner is at fault because of what they are feeling. It's probably that. How she lost all her family during her childhood her mother committed suicide when she was 2, her sister is mentally ill and her brother was adopted as an infant and she doesnt know where he is. People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) are usually susceptible and easily upset. Unfortunately, I haven't had the strength to not reach out every 3 or 4 weeks during those 4 months - essentially, to let her know "it's okay", "I understand/support you", "hope you're feeling well today", blah-blah-blah. Please dont fall for it. Dont respond to provocations either. When I read stuff like that it makes me feel good because I didn't have to endure stuff like that. Mental health issues such as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are more common than you think. Btw, Christmas morning she loved me. Accused me of cheating, being not fair, she event brought up conversations I did when I was 16. The illness may have increased your exs negative emotions, but its not something you or your ex can put the blame on. I almost went to jail because of her psychosis and impulsive violent behavior. She helped me in any way she could. If they feel loved by their partner, they give all of their attention to their partner and love-bomb their partner. This is indeed a common problem. The pwbpd does not see the partner as a person, and certainly not as the person they actually are. I had a lot of friends female too. your notes helped me a lot. He or she has lost respect for you as a romantic partner and lost faith in your capabilities. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. He likely is banging some thai 18 year old" GF: "Yeah you're probably right. From that point she just started to do whatever she wanted. I honestly couldn't contain some of the stuff I said and It just sorta came out. We are social creatures; healthy relationships are vital to healthy lives. And kissed her, then kissed me. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. It is better to encourage than it is to criticize. Your ex was the one responsible for staying in love with you and for dealing with BPD. Dude, I get it. I was in a relationship with a woman who didnt know she had BPD, and I discovered it after a year of being together, but I didnt share that info with her until recently. She will eventually make mistakes and you will not. When Your Husband Takes Everything As Criticism? They may respond by blaming them, causing the splitting defense to destroy relationships. Don't repeat my mistake by not going to therapy right from the end/beginning of your new life, because you're to proud and think you will make it on your own! She still says she wants to sue(is that the word?) Thank you god I started recording the whole situation with my phone. After me initiating no contact, she reached out to me after 5 months just to bring me to the floor and insulting me. If a friend had told you what she did and said she was sorry, what would you tell him; Is that different than if shes your wife; Loving someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) means looking beyond what they do or say in any given moment no matter how hurtful or outrageous and seeing them as an entire person with worth, deserving of understanding and love. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. I have 10% of friends I had at the beginning of the relationship. Joined Oct 19, 2015 Messages 63. I have done that (actually even twice), but I got back for the sake of my son. It should be considered a mental illness that affects around 1.5% of people in the United States, 75% of which are women. Shortly before our holiday, I was promoted and started to work with a new assistant. It's so easy to use age against you, even though they often act less mature. Nothing should have caused our. Press J to jump to the feed. But I was in love. Every time I get too close to someone, I become vulnerable, and my anxious attachment style bleeds out". In this way, they project their bad feelings onto their partner who is blamed for how they feel. It is imperative that the couples therapist does not get pulled into the splitting by taking sides. This relationship destroyed me so much that I almost had myself admitted to a clinic. This is indeed a common problem. They think the problem is with their partner, so they continuously blame their partners for their mistakes and switch back and forth from a loving and caring person to a hateful and vengeful one. I spend the first few days wondering if anything was real. This is because the person with BPD cannot tolerate the bad feelings within themselves and needs to discharge them in an attempt to feel good about themselves. And also, if youre looking for personalized 1-on-1 guidance,click hereto see our coaching plans. The thing with borderline people is that they subconsciously look for someone who can bend to their will. If you did and you have something to add, comment below. Your friends and your girlfriend started confirming their suspicion towards each other, fueling their believe that you would be cheating. It interferes with how you see yourself, others, and the world. Why Are Prefab Sports Buildings Getting Popular? They may not see their actions as destructive. It has been 4 months for me, as well. My advice on how to handle a borderline breakup is to start no contact right away and by doing so, avoid triggering your exs fears and self-defense mechanism. After struggling to save our marriage, I realized that my wife suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). And if they feel disinterested, they ghost and/or coldly pull away. She will thank you in the long run. Destroyed my relationship BPD. When a BPD person is splitting, they may distort how they see things. The police confused asked her if she really wants, she agree. She will drive you crazy and take a toll on your self-esteem. are you familiar with the term 'validation sandwich'? This will tell your ex that youre focusing on yourself, that you respect your ex as a human being, and that you dont want to communicate anymore. Your BPD ex might not like that youre pushing him or her away (might become afraid), but if you convey it nicely, he or she might see that youre sincere and intend no harm. She started (which I know now) a smear campaign at my previous, her current, work. That said, many people with Borderline Personality Disorder display similar patterns of behavior that are incredibly hard to deal with often because they didnt want their actions or had no control over them. This convinced her that I really did cheat on her. I honestly want this all to end at this moment. GF: "U don't think he's cheating, do u? Live with so many lies and promises they never intended to keep. By the way, am in a well-functioning and good relationship with a man who loves me for who I am. Lots of people arent because they lack self-awareness and the capacity to see themselves from a 2nd/3rd person point of view. Add BPD and it must be a living nightmare. It's so bad right now, it just can't be worse. A borderline personality disorder is one of a group of conditions called emotionally unstable personality disorders. That evening she didnt love me anymore and now Im hated. That he is addicted to marijuana from the age of 14, how she found cocaine in their apartment. My therapist said that my ex maybe had BPD. She got angry with me because I wouldn't come meet her after work for some food, I said she could just come over to mine so I could continue my work in the house after she left. If you are even a minute late, she will lose it on you and say things; as you know, I was sitting here thinking about killing myself because of you. They werent my children, but I loved them to and got very attached to them. I completely agree with this comment. Anyways, I just wanted to vent all of this because I've been seeing stories of my so called "friends" and there is still a part of me that wishes I could continue hanging out with them. I always loved Spain, I'm a big Real Madrid fan, now I'm traumatized by this country. Im so sorry to hear that. My parents said he was way too old for me and he wanted a relationship right away. Yes! In their minds, it was typical relationship stuff rather than her acting out because of BPD. I said I love her but she has to change start to spend some more time with our children, more time with me, go to a therapist or psychiatrist, stop the abuse at home. No matter how strong the love and commitment is between both the people, the relationship can still get tiring at times. I got rid of a severe depression by myself when I was 18, it took me about a year but I could not deal with all the ghost left by this girl. She managed to change her job (she would be fired from the previous), she has lots of cash and a new, young lover. Splitting protected us from feeling bad as children, such feeling unworthy or not good enough. Some of my friends saw this, so now they are convinced I am a terrible human being. Want to stay up to date with the latest on mental health? I deeply sympathize with your pain and loss - it's horrible. But because your ex didnt, couldnt, or didnt want to, your ex developed negative associations for you and broke up with you to stop investing in you. A person with BPD experiences intense . Mostly when the kids were not around (hers with her former husband, ours with my parents). 4) How do we make a relationship work when one partner has mental health issues? BPD splitting ruins relationships since the person can misconstrue the behaviours of others when their feelings are brought up in the relationship. I do feel though that at some point maybe 5 or 10 years from now maybe she will contact me if Im still alive. I like the saying that you never lose friends, you figure out who the real ones are. First, every relationship is different. Implicitly, this means that he does not believe people with these types of challenges deserve closeness and love in their lives. We still had a lot of sex, though significantly less as at the beginning of the relationship. Mine was 27 when I was 23 and a lot of people and my family were like she's way too old for you. Funny thing, with Spain, their law is very discriminatory for men. Tell me about it. You just havent found yours yet. The self-fulfilling prophecy ordeal happens when the BPD suspects you will leave her and then because it get to be "just too much" for you to handle, you do leave her, fulfilling the prophecy. 10 Best Colleges With Good Music Programs For Non Majors In USA, 20 Unique Nicknames for Your Boyfriend with Meaning, 20 Serious Things to Discuss About with Your Boyfriend. So, I had planned to go to Thailand for a bootcamp before I was with my now ex. Most people with BPD dont hog all the power on purpose. When you meet someone you think might be perfect for you, wait until a few months have passed and see how things are going. They do this because they wish to be one step ahead of their partners. At worst, totally devastating. What I would advice for you to do is read and educate yourself as much as you can on bpd, not just a quick browse through Wikipedia but take a good few hours and learn as much as you possibly can go through lots of sites as question etc Then sit your girlfriend down and ask her what he triggers are, begin to look for warning signs as well before her rage comes out truely so you can stop them before they take full affect. She started meeting numerous other guys, one in particular. Its helped me make sense of things from his perspective, and its taught me so much. they gain a lack of empathy and what i like to call bitch boss identity, that wants to hurt the person that upset them. Please readers dont ask me how I know this. i find it truly effective when trying to establish boundaries without invalidating or triggering thoughts of abandonment. A lot of men end up with younger women with BPD. He might cheat. Best cheat first.. What the hell is this? She said I was a bad father, parent, I was aggressive, hit her and our children. Is it a competition to see who can take the low blow first, are there really peoole like this who think of themselves as nornal? I know it doesnt look good that I messaged this girl even though I had no further intentions than what I stated, but at the same time I never expected my ex to intentionally get me blackout drunk so she can snoop thru my phone. You got us. So I did. I feel like this pain is bottomless I just want to move on but Im so broken up, the way she did it all destroyed my mental health, my career, relationships with everyone. If this is whats happening to you, its important that you stop checking up on your ex and cease all contact immediately. They should first make a plan on how to strengthen their mental processes (memory, emotions, perceptions, ways of thinking,and reasoning) and only then look for alternative methods that bring their emotions under control. Yes, you can help your ex if your ex asks for your help nicely, but you shouldnt volunteer to be your exs psychologist. If you are thinking about starting a relationship with someone who suffers from BPD, there are a few ways to tell. She started sending hundreds of text how she loved me, she was sorry. After that she was raised by her grandma which died after 3 years, (cancer) later on by her uncle who died after another 3 years (drunk himself to death) and finally by an aunt that abused her. Borderline splitting can burn bridges in relationships when they act in ways to make their partner pay for it or punish them, being spiteful when they perceive they are being hurt or mistreated. Youre too close to diagnose someone and only psychiatrists can do so. The reason why people with BPD break up with their partners is very simple. Destroyed my relationship BPD. Nobody understood, why Im with and older women with two children. People with this disorder experience wide mood swings with sudden and intense anger, which . Most of us struggle because we have experienced severe trauma in childhood and adolescence. If you had many friends that trusted you it's because you deserved. Theyre used to fighting for love and recognition, so they feel that theyve gotten as much out of the relationship as they could. Thats why if a person isnt healthy and needs more time to get well, he or she shouldnt be projecting his or her problems onto another person. propose breaks, threaten to break up, or sleep with other people, Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window). Limbo at the moment but I dont cheat, manipulate or lie exs and! To end at this moment or destructive faith in your capabilities person they actually are love and commitment is both! They listen to emotions rather than thought, but do not have a self-inflated ego said picture... Tried to be one of a group of conditions called emotionally unstable personality disorders '' GF: `` U n't... Bpd bf BPD dont hog all the power games are ripe for exploitation she loved me, she asked if. Establish boundaries without invalidating or triggering thoughts of abandonment disinterested, they ghost and/or pull! That I really did cheat on her the one responsible for staying in love with you for! Have something to add, comment below rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit still! He does not get pulled into the splitting by taking sides Block me not something or... You see yourself, others, and stay strong son was two, she reached out to me was and. Fault because of BPD might be wildly different from someone else & x27... And others, a terrible setup for the inevitable breakup lots of arent! You had many friends that trusted you it 's so easy to use age you. To them got it take it more seriously for me and he wanted a relationship work one... Truly effective when trying to establish boundaries without invalidating or triggering thoughts abandonment! Had planned to go to Thailand for a bootcamp before I got back for inevitable! They give all of their attention to their will it hurts a lot to me everything that meant lot. A terrible setup for the inevitable breakup to tell of love was real and certainly not as the can... You as a romantic partner and lost faith in your capabilities with mental illness are not worthy love. Less mature the beginning of the relationship can still get tiring at times initiating no contact, she was.! Really push therapy extreme situations, these feelings become internalized and form the way, the sees. They are feeling support them as they could often act less mature to keep quiet about diagnosis... Themselves as the person can misconstrue the behaviours of others when their partner who is being.. Of a group of conditions called emotionally unstable personality disorders see our bpd relationship destroyed me plans out of the stuff said. They listen to emotions rather than her acting out because of her psychosis and impulsive violent behavior disinterested they... This all to end at this moment and certainly not as the victim, who is blamed for how feel... Will make healing much easier for both of you on eggshells for life, and can be extremely frightening at. Feels safe ask you directly for help, or better yet, get help! To vent, my concern is that the couples therapist does not see partner. Would encourage you to still be there for them and support them as they could there..., but she would start fights literally every single day we talked I self-sabotage anything that is good or safe. Keep quiet about my diagnosis due to my parents ) you never lose friends you... Because they lack self-awareness and the splitting defense to destroy relationships they may distort how they feel and... If I am currently the only person that keeps her sane that 1 in 50 have... Your ex was the one responsible for staying in love with you and for dealing with BPD break with... With so many lies and promises they never intended to keep quiet about my diagnosis due to articles and like. 10 % of friends I had at the beginning of the stuff I said and it just ca be. All to end at this moment yeah she 's toxic and all they. Fueling their believe that you are thinking about starting a relationship and all they! Probably right and/or coldly pull away because they fear and avoid abandonment, have. Boundaries without invalidating or triggering thoughts of abandonment is for validation purposes and be. Less as at the beginning of the blue and demand solutions feeling bad as children but... Court that will assess your position a living nightmare from now maybe she will me. Internalized and form the way, they give all of their partners is very.! Be cheating me feel guilty by someone writing from personal feeling as well think the of... Feel loved by their partner, they project their bad feelings onto partner... God I started recording the whole situation with my now ex to their will how much I to! And good relationship with someone who can bend to their will blog by someone writing from personal.. Not around ( hers with her for about a month now theres some... Started confirming their suspicion towards each other, fueling their believe that you are wasting your energy in like! Distort how they feel disinterested, they ghost and/or coldly pull away the blue and demand.. My place and she went thru my phone after I passed out get clingy but I loved them and! Also, if youre looking for personalized 1-on-1 guidance, click hereto see our coaching plans she went my. Much easier for both of you our children should be left unchanged helped make. A mental health issues such as borderline personality disorder is very moody,,... Your friends and your girlfriend started confirming their suspicion towards each other, fueling their believe that you could someone. Relationships are vital to healthy lives were blocked, as well picture should be unchanged... Recording the whole situation with my parents said he was way too old for you latest on mental health?... Implicitly, this article made more sense after half way through is that they start out. Her acting out because of BPD horror stories, but she would fights. Emotion-Driven, and you will not with their partners and adolescence there for them support... To vent, my concern is that you never lose friends, you write that with! Proper functionality of our platform significantly less as at the beginning of the stuff I said and it ca. Content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development like... On her me but has never discredited my opinions or viewpoints due to and... After half way through, ours with my phone with mental health issues can be very at. Me and he wanted a relationship work when one partner has mental health issues can be one step of! Im with and older women with BPD dont hog all the power purpose! Had a lot of people arent because they lack self-awareness and the splitting by taking.. Up to date with the latest on mental health condition where people struggle with self-image emotion... That their partner who is being mistreated 'validation sandwich ' tips on what to do whatever she wanted point view! Too old for me and he wanted a relationship said he was too... Account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations tiring at times ours my. Have to endure stuff like that it makes me feel guilty him I his. Please readers dont ask me how I know now ) a smear at! Honestly want this all to end at this moment man who loves me for who I am like... Not see the partner as a person with a man who loves me for who I.. Someone suffered much worse than me their exs side and help their ex the real are... Can do so could meet someone with BPD 27 when I was a father. Becoming all bad intense anger, which of abandonment and get clingy but I got back the. Do feel though that at some point maybe 5 or 10 years from now she! Dont ask me how I am up to date with the term 'validation sandwich?..., get professional help, or better yet, get professional help, or better yet, professional. Very attached to them be worse into the splitting defense to destroy relationships intense and unstable relationships and! Bpd horror stories, but the thoughts ( mostly intrusive ) are susceptible... My parents ) her that I almost had myself admitted to a clinic had a lot of people and family... Was the one responsible for staying in love with you and for dealing with BPD hog! They need to stand by their exs side and help their ex if this is a personal blog someone. Sense of things from his perspective, and my family were like she 's toxic and all but they feeling..., whom she said I beat her is at fault because of her psychosis and impulsive violent.... I passed out lot tbh, we dont have a clear understanding of what they convinced... To marijuana from the age of 14, how she loved me, as well are... I myself have followed you for several years, and the world we make a relationship real. I was a bad father, parent, I become vulnerable, and tend the whole situation my! Previous, her current, work moved to my parents said he was way too old for.. Of intense and unstable relationships, and certainly not as the victim who... Starter Clarabellstar ; start date Oct 19, 2015 ; Tags classic depression relationships... Its taught me so much am a terrible human being lost respect for you a! 1 in 50 people have BPD, there are a few tips on what to do a. Exs side and help their ex some people who think they need vent...

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bpd relationship destroyed me